Reflections

In addition to having a good time with my son Ryan, and seeing parts of Bulgaria I haven't seen before, I have some new insights from his visit.  Ryan brought a freshness of perspective which I thoroughly enjoyed!  He loves how green Bulgaria is and how friendly the people he met are.  Its countryside is diverse.  The villages welcoming.

My village has become "home" to me - it's familiar and comfortable.  I am happy here and grateful to be here.  I feel I am growing relationships with Bulgarian friends - some younger, some older - sometimes in English, sometimes in Bulgarian and always with a sense of humor and patience.  I am blessed to be surrounded by good people and am thrilled to be sharing myself with them and sharing our cultures and ideas.

When I first arrived, everything was so strange to me and different than what I knew.  That was one thing I was looking for when I applied to Peace Corps.  The idea of something and the experience of something can be very different from one another.  This type of "clean slate" provides the opportunity for internal and external growth.

My language skills are good enough to engage in basic conversations and to find my way around.  I was really pleased that when Ryan and I were in Sofia, I navigated the buses and trams without any unplanned scenic detours.  My skills and confidence have grown over the past 16 months.  I could translate conversations for Ryan, but as long as he knew the topic, he did pretty well figuring out the general "gist" of the conversation.  Lots of hand gestures and facial expression help in this process.

The dichotomy between old and new was of interest to him.  And he was exceedingly impressed with the internet speed here. It was fun to see things he thought were interesting - or not.  It reminded me of many of my first impressions, not that long ago. He was expecting my villages to be more rural than they are - like no paved streets at all.  So when he saw they were paved he thought things are really good here.  He also likes the concept of having a "bath room" where there is a drain in the middle of the floor and taking a shower is not confined to a little closet-like space or bathtub with a shower curtain.  I too, think this is a great idea.  When I bought my apartment in Arizona the bathroom had wall-to-wall carpeting and I had to be careful every time I took a shower not to splash water on the carpet. (I had the carpet removed and put in a tile floor - now it's much better!).

In my visit with him I also realized I am changing.  I'm less concerned with a schedule and plan - I still think it's good to have them, but the deadlines are often more fluid.  I consciously look for the good things about people I meet and about myself.  I'm better about this than I used to be - less judgmental.  I fundamentally believe people have a reason for thinking the things they do or doing the things they do and that if I'm patient, I can understand them and myself better. And I think people tend to think and behave in ways that they think will make them feel good or better or have value– so it’s good to give everyone the benefit of the doubt initially (myself included).  (O.k. I know there are some people who don’t but I’m not addressing them here).

I also have opportunity and time to reflect on my own beliefs and habits from the past 50+ years – what I like and what I’m changing or want to change.  My time here in Bulgaria – the people, the challenges, the gifts - are deepening my experience of life.  I’m very happy to call Bulgaria home for these 2 years.