All day yesterday and half of today I spent resting in bed with a running nose, headache and sore throat. It's time to re-set my thoughts and behaviors. I've tried along the way, but apparently the trying never manifested into a shift that changed my behavior. So the Universe provides the catalyst for change - getting sick.
The past several weeks I've been in an unproductive and frustrating loop around planning English classes. I've spent way too much time researching and not enough time getting a plan on paper. For instance - taking 5 hours to plan two 30-minute classes. Part of the problem for me is that I wasn't sure what to level of English to expect from some of the students who have studied it before. Another part is that I'm teaching young children, older children and adults. So I was trying to "over-prepare" for multiple levels and contingencies. I also have unrealistic expectations for myself. I need to embrace that this is new to me and it's o.k.
After my first week of classes, I realize that I was trying to do too much. But I continued anyway. This frenetic behavior and worry wore me out. Over the weekend I felt I was coming down with a cold. Sometimes I can redirect it with Vitamin C and liquids, but this time I ended up in bed feeling miserable. Rest is good. And it certainly gives me time to think. Of course there is a certain amount of whining at first, but then there is a shift. Taking deep breaths and knowing that things will get better is some of the best medicine.
Today midday, I had a shift - I have more energy and I'm more relaxed about preparing for classes. I want to remember this space and if I get obsessive again about something, I want to begin the deep breathing and re-directing myself before I get sick. And I want this to be the enjoyable experience I know it can be. I'm looking forward to getting to know the kids and adults in my classes.
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