From Frustration to Contentment

It's a new day and I have returned to my blog - AND I found the lost photos. I guess when I saved the new photos to the draft file, the whole page went. So as usual, lack of understanding led to frustration.

Now here's some info that goes along with the newer photos. Sunday is "Pazaar" day here (yes with a P). People come and set up booths for what they sell - clothes - new and second-hand, shoes, veggies and fruit from the garden (or Turkey - where it's warmer and foods are ripe there that are not yet ripe here), live chickens, second hand hardware, plants, sheets. It is a mini flea-market. But it has purpose. A lot of people who live in villages don't have cars which means they have to travel by bus to the bigger towns to shop (or go with a friend who has a car). A trip on the bus with a fan, mop and large bag of household items is no fun. So these pazaars bring a fresh supply of things to the village every weekend.

Last Sunday I bought sandals, a geranium and pot, and veggies. This week I bought a pair of lightweight pants and blankets. Guess what size pants I wear here in Bulgaria - size 50! The way I've seen most people shop is by holding an item up to see if they think it'll fit. That's what I did - good guess Patricia. Then I bought 4 lightweight blankets - two for the kitchen and two for chairs in my bedroom. I'm trying to eliminate the smell of cigarette smoke - it's almost gone.

In the kitchen photos - I also have an heirloom tomato. It was the first time I saw them in Bulgaria, and yes they are about 3 times as expensive as "normal" tomatoes. I won't buy many but boy did it taste good! It won't be long before garden tomatoes are ripe here and this village is famous for their awesome tomatoes. Yeah - bring 'em on! On the kitchen table are the ingredients for a salad made daily during the summer - cucumbers, tomatoes, garlic (fresh stalks of garlic usually), onion and sirene (sear-ah-nay) which is Bulgarian feta. Then toss with vinegar and oil (sunflower, of course). I'm loving it....fresh, clean and cooling.

Also, you can see the new kitchen seat coverings (blankets) - I'm not extremely excited about the design but they are fresh. My landlord came by this week and cut about 3 inches off the legs of the kitchen table which I'm grateful for. My chin no longer rests next to my plate when I'm sitting down.

I don't think I mentioned this before, but another thing I wanted to make my new home more comfortable was a bottom sheet with elastic borders for my bed. When I moved in there was a new sheet and duvet cover waiting for me, which I thought was a very kind gesture. I don’t know if they commonly use sheets with elastic here – usually it’s just a flat sheet over the mattress, tucked in. That didn’t work for me very well, because they came un-tucked easily and I got all caught up in them every night. Good news – I found sheets in Veliko Turnovo. I bought one and brought it home – yeah, home sweet bed…..almost. As I reached down to lift the corner of the mattress – it didn’t move. Apparently the mattress is bolted to the frame. Hmmm. Well my answer is to tuck in the elastic as far as I can and kind of shove around the corner. Not ideal, but it’s working. I’m so happy!

Another photo shows my laundry system. I’m doing my laundry by hand. Whites first, then colors, then darks. Soap, water and clothes go in a small tub and soak for a while. Then I scrub them, squeeze them out and put them in the larger tub of clean water. Swish them around a bit, squeeze them out and put them in another tub of rinse water. Of course it’s easy to pour the tub of old rinse water right on the bathroom floor and fill it again with the shower head. :>) While they are still quite wet, I hang them on the line on the balcony (what am I going to do in winter when there is 2 feet of snow out there?). Being saturated with water, helps the wrinkles, hang out. Of course, the weight of the water also helps my 100% cotton items stretch into interesting shapes. Then I repeat the process for the colors and darks. Ahhh, the good ol’ days.

Then there are photos of the fields around the village…..sooooo beautiful. The sunflowers are peaking and they are spectacular. Today I was on the bus to one of my other villages and the view was astounding – so many fields with bright, smiling, sunflower faces. I love it!!! Also growing in the local fields are hay, wheat and corn.

I think that’s about it for now. Time to study Bulgarian!

From Contentment to Frustration

Well....I just updated the photo in the blog heading.  I uploaded some new photos I took today and saved them in Drafts because I wanted to work on them a little more before publishing.  O.K.  but now the question is where did the whole photo PAGE go?  It appears to be gone - all the photos I've uploaded.   Well either they are are are not still attached to my blog.  But it's late and I'm too tired to figure it out now.  So enjoy the new photo of the sunflowers - all the fields are blooming - it's awesome. Sunflower oil is the primary cooking oil and it's a national past time to chew on roasted and salted sunflower seeds.  Hey, Ryan, did you read that????

Back Online

Hi - Finally I have internet at home. I have been both patient and impatient. I just couldn't wait any longer and ended signing up with the more expensive internet server because they could do it sooner. I may have to re-think my strategy later, but now it sure is nice to have access to email, google-translate, SKYPE and of course, my blog. I'll do my best to be somewhat regular with posts. I have lots to share and definitely have some catching up to do. Along those lines, I have posted some photos but they are out of order. So enjoy the beauty of disorder.

Now it's time to say good-night and to get ready for the new week.

Outside the Comfort Zone

Today I read this quote from a Peace Corps volunteer who has been in Bulgaria for a couple of years. He said “If you’re not out of your comfort zone, you’re not in the Peace Corps.” Hmmm. I’ve had so many insights since I’ve arrived in Bulgaria and most of them come from perspectives precipitated from being out of my comfort zone.

Of course the big one is language. I feel so successful when I can tell someone that “I love their garden, it’s so beautiful – many flowers and big cucumbers. I love strawberries, I eat them for breakfast with yogurt and honey.” But if I were to get on Google Translate I might say something like “Your garden is outstanding – I can see you’ve put a lot of work into it – the plants are amazingly enormous and healthy. And it’s wonderful that you are proud of not using any pesticides – that you have an organic garden.”

I’m not so great with past and future tenses yet, so I’m saying things like “Yesterday I bazaar, buy shoes.” Everyone is happy that I found some sandals to buy – my clogs just looked (and felt) too hot for these summer days!

It’s good to have a sense of humor on both sides of a conversation. There are times I ask a question and get an answer to a different question. Or vice-versa. Someone will ask me a question and I can tell by the looks on their face that my answer did not match the question. So it’s good to laugh and start over again.

Beyond language I’ve been having existential discussions in my head about communication. Even in a country (America) where I have a language and lots of habits in common with other people, I wonder if we really communicate as clearly as it seems. Don’t we all have different personal histories and don’t we have our own definition for every word we use – describing emotions, perceptions, ideas or beliefs? Sometimes any one of those can seem very real to me, yet whoever I’m talking with doesn’t “get it.” What makes something more “right” than something else? Isn’t it personal or societal perception (I’m not talking about extremes here – just everyday life). Isn’t that why we all have so many arguments or misunderstandings between ourselves – because we think A is better than B; or X is more important than Y? In another culture like Bulgaria, I’m seeing that by being out of my comfort zone of habits and belief systems that humanity is very creative in living our lives and defining our roles/rules. There are a lot of different beliefs here, yet they are just as sure about their validity as I am sure about some things I believe in that are different.

There is also a huge amount of trust required by both sides when two different cultures and languages come together. The people who I meet here have given me the benefit of the doubt that I am a good person, and I them. There has to be a certain amount of trust to move forward working together. There are spoken misunderstandings but I cannot allow myself to be easily offended. Usually the intention is not to offend. But often cultural differences can lead to misunderstandings. It’s important to be patient and to listen without judgment to give that space for understanding to emerge – as it usually does in time. Thank heavens for the people I have met, who have been patient! Here’s an example. One of my first days in town, a woman offered me a jar of canned peas. I politely said “No thank-you, I prefer peas that are fresh.” Later, with more knowledge, I realized that these were probably fresh out of this years garden (initially I thought last years) and that while I may not be so excited about them now with all the bounty from gardens available, I might be very happy to have them in January, when I may be craving anything green from a garden. I hope she did not take offense and next time I will gladly accept.

There is more to explore here, but for now let me just say….I am grateful for the discomfort of being out of my comfort zone. I’m being forced to look at things differently. As I do I am keeping an open mind but also reserve the right to hold onto those beliefs that seem “right” for me without thinking someone else “ought” to share them. And by the same token, I can see how something may be right for someone else that does not work for me. I guess that’s what we call acceptance and tolerance (where’s my English-Bulgarian dictionary?).

What is Normal?

Sights and sounds which have become “normal” to me:

Chickens clucking and roosters crowing all day long

(yes, starting when it begins to get light)

Chickens, roosters, guinea hens and turkeys roaming freely on the streets

Horse (or donkey) carts driving through the streets along side cars and pedestrians

Storks standing on their nests

(we now have baby heads and beaks appearing from my vantage point far below)

Toothless smiles from people waving to me when I greet them as I walk by

The sound of cuckoo birds

Thunder

The church bell toll when someone in the village passes away

Winding Down

The intensive Peace Corps Training period is winding down. We have one week left and we are focusing all our attention on review of the vocabulary and grammar we have learned since arriving and practicing speaking. We have our final “test” next week and it’s oral – we have to talk about topics in Bulgarian. We’ve been studying vocabulary for foods, family, money and numbers, clothes, transportation and numerous other things. So we’ll ask and answer questions about these topics in present, past and future tenses.

There are 5 of us in my training group here in the small village. We all know a lot more Bulgarian now that we did when we arrived early in April. We have different learning styles and I must say we’ve been really patient with one another. One group member is the more gifted one and does a great job carrying on a basic conversation but we all continue to learn every day. The cool thing is that we can’t flunk our test next week. If we do well, we continue with language tutoring at our new home (maybe one or two hours a week). If we don’t do as well, we continue with more tutoring at our new home (maybe two to four hours a week).

At this point in our journey, we’re weary of our living situations as well as language learning . It’s been helpful to live with Bulgarians as we began our journey here. All our families have made us feel welcome and opened their homes to us. However, being the Americans we are, we’re all looking forward to living in our own space again. And I think our families may be just as ready to return to their “normal” living situations. Remember the saying about “After 3 Days, Fish and Guests….” Imagine 10 weeks. Again, I want to acknowledge the patience, tolerance and camaraderie on both sides as we prepare to fly the coop.

Thursday we our group went to Sofia for the day. I traveled by train for the first time and really enjoyed it, especially standing at the window with the wind blowing through my hair looking at the gorgeous green countryside flying by. One of my favorite flowers is in bloom – red poppies – a nice contrast to the green. In Sophia we traveled by tram to the Peace Corps Bulgaria Headquarters. On the way we made a stop at McDonald’s for one of our members of the group craving a “quarter pounder.” We walked down a couple unidentified streets (the scenic route) before we found the right one. And on our way, at noon, sirens all over the city (and country) sounded. Wikipedia says “Every year at exactly 12:00 on June 2, air raid sirens throughout all of the country resonate for a minute to honour Hristo Botev and those who died for the freedom of Bulgaria. People everywhere stand still for 2 to 3 minutes until the sirens are stopped.” We stood quietly on the sidewalk.

Next it was time for lunch…..Abtin recommended a restaurant he had been to before so we hopped a bus and headed back toward the center of the city. It took a little time but we found it and sat inside because it looked like rain was on the way. The food was great and someone smoking indoors which we found odd because there are laws here too about not smoking in public buildings. The man heard us talk about it and told us in American, that it was o.k. because it’s an electronic cigarette. O.K. this was news to me – have you heard about this invention? Apparently they are big in L.A. They are allowed in public places because there is no second hand smoke from a burning cigarette. However the smoker still gets a nicotine fix by inhaling. The smoke s/he exhales is considered less toxic (legally) because the carcinogens stay in the lungs. Great! By the way, this American is a producer from L.A./Hollywood and just happens to rep the cigarettes.

It’s true that in Bulgaria, smoking is a popular pastime with many, many people. It’s seems to be the exception when someone doesn’t smoke. I’m grateful Z, my host mom, does not smoke. It’s part of the culture – along with drinking – to socialize and “have a good time” or to bond by going outside for a cigarette an coffee break. There are education programs about the hazards of smoking as well as warnings on cigarette packages, largely ignored except by a few.

After lunch we walked around the town center and saw many of the famous sites – churches, monuments, the parliament and the president’s residence. We also saw them setting the stage and lighting for the 2011 Balkan Music Awards! Because we are still a “group” we did everything together even though everyone of us would have had different ideas on what to do in Sofia for a day. So that was one more indicator that we are ready for a little more personal space from one another as well as our family situations. The PC has done a good job of orienting us to Bulgaria ­– the country, the culture and the language – now it’s time for us to jump in and create our own experiences around our work and lives here.